Yale University Kills All Campus Squirrels!

All of the Yale campus squirrels were probably exterminated by Yale University over the summer.



Sept. 12 (UPI) -- A senior at Yale University has suggested a conspiracy within campus administration to rid the grounds of squirrels.

"I’d like to remain anonymous, but I also want to let you know about something going on at Yale. It appears that the administration paid to have all the squirrels on campus killed over the summer," the student said.
"There are no squirrels left at Yale.

"As students have begun to realize the genocide that has taken place, they are rising up, enraged and disgusted. Numerous student publications are racing to uncover the scandal, but so far there has been no official statement. Continued fury and uprising is expected."

The Yale Daily News' blog Cross Campus also reported the squirrels missing, noting the "particularly aggressive breed of squirrels are typically a common sighting during the first few weeks of school."

Because the administration and the New Haven Parks Department took days to respond, claims of mass squirrelcide seemed less and less nutty.


Thomas Conroy, Yale University press secretary, eventually made a statement about the squirrels.
“Yale University has no squirrel extermination program and has not tried to reduce the squirrel population on campus.

Knowing the uproar it caused why didn't they immediately have a press release stating they did not do it?

Even still, their absence on campus is pretty squirrelly.